29 August 2009
Life is never what you expect. So why should death contain anything but the unexpected? Whether it is for the deceased or those left behind, it brings something unique. You would think after 2 years one would become accustomed to the funerals and the death. In fact, the opposite is true. Each time I visit a family, a friend, it compounds upon the pain of those already lost. Each time someone dies another brick is added to the pile of despair and instead of creating a feeling of numbness and separation at seeing so many bricks in the pile it instead draws a person into the desperation of the massive pile of bricks. But of course on the outside everything is business as usual.
After I heard the news, I went as I have so many times already this year, to pay my respects to the deceased and his family. It was a sad, yet inevitable death. The man was young, and had come home to Mafikeng to be with his mother and die. I saw him outside many a morning wrapped in a blanket and lying in the sun. He had been in the advanced stage of his illness and he appeared in his final days as if he was just a ghost, a shadow walking the world of the living.
My rondoval is in the bottom of the Qomo-Qomo valley, and most of the village is located above me. Every few days I make my rounds around the village to inspect projects, find out any news, and look for new opportunities. I was on my way up to the top of the village where my widows run a solar bakery. I wanted to inspect their accounting books and see if the business was running smoothly. As I made my way up, Ares and Aegis, my faithful companions, darted up and down the mountain looking for trouble, or maybe just a nice discarded bone to chew on.
It was coming to afternoon; the sun would soon be behind our mountain leaving us with a few hours of shade before darkness finally came. I noticed what appeared to be a pile of blankets next to a mud rondoval, heaped in a pile and filthy. An old woman sat slowly stirring a large black kettle and tending a small fire below it. She was probably in her fifties, but looked much older. The environment and the hard living here seem to make people age much more quickly. I greeted her in accordance with custom, “Hello, mother. How are you living?”
“I’m living well,” she replied, “and you father, how are you living?”
“Good, thank you,” I said.
The pile of dirty blankets suddenly began to stir, and I realized that someone had been hidden underneath them. The blankets lifted, and for a brief moment my eyes made contact with those that had been hidden. I could see naught but his eyes. They peered inquisitively at me. They were dark, sunken, and sad. As quickly as they had come, they disappeared. The blankets fell back into their crumpled unmoving state. I made my way up the hill to continue my business with the bakery not giving the eyes much more thought.
A few days later I happened by the house again. This time there was a man sitting up next to the house. Was it a man? Or just a shadow, a whisper. The blanket hung over his shoulder now, his bare flesh exposed to the winter sun. He looked as though he hadn’t eaten in months. Every bone in his body was visible and protruded outwards into the exterior where they weren’t meant to be seen. His cheeks were hollow and his hair was tangled and stood in clumps about his head. His arm, was that his arm? It looked like that of a child. There was no muscle visible, only bone. I greeted him, but he was too weak to respond or even to change his expression.
Aegis, Ares, and I continued on our way. Later, his mother had told me, that he had mused after Ares and Aegis. He had said that surely they were being fed bread and milk, exotic goods here in the mountains. He had asked his mother if she thought I would give him one of the dogs. She had hung her head and turned away not wanting to show him her tears or tell him the truth that it didn’t matter as he would be gone in a few days.
The next time I looked at the house, I knew in an instant that death had finally taken him, the man with sunken eyes. Several cooking fires were burning around the house and an inordinate amount of people were gathered outside. I checked my garden, as I have so many times before this year, to see what I could bring to help the
family.
I gathered four bunches of potatoes, about twenty in all, and slowly made my way to the rondoval to pay my respects. I had my meager offering of potatoes, but I have found that in a land with no money and little food sometimes all that is to be done is to sit with the family and share their pain. As I approached the house I customarily greeted those gathered outside. I asked where the man was, and they pointed inside of the second of two rondovals. I gathered my thoughts, my Sesotho, and my composure, took a deep breath, and stepped into the single room.
Five women were sitting on the dirt floor crying; in between the women hung a sheet covering the deceased man. I hung my head and greeted them in a low whisper of a voice. I asked about the man, when he had died, when the funeral would be, and what arrangements had been made. As we made conversation they stopped crying. I told his mother I wish I had made more of an effort to speak to him while he was alive. She then told me about how much he had enjoyed seeing me and my dogs. She told me he was absolutely convinced that the dogs were being fed bread and milk because they were so fat. They had laughed about it, and as she told me the story she smiled and laughed again.
After she finished talking we all sat quietly and reflected. I got up and handed his mother my potatoes. She was very thankful, almost too thankful. I looked around and noticed that not much food had been brought by others. Perhaps it was because the man stayed at another village and had only come home to die. As I looked around at some of the food that had been brought I asked his mother if anyone had brought cabbage yet. She replied that they hadn’t. “I don’t have very much in my garden,” I said, “I gave the garden to the Primary School this year. Is anyone at the village selling?”
“No, I don’t think so,” the man’s mother answered.
“How about Ha Nohana?” I asked.
“We’re not sure,” the women said collectively.
“I see some cabbage down in the valley,” I said. “Isn’t that being sold? It’s not? Well, I’ll have to go get some anyway.”
“How will you do that?” they asked.
“I’ll just go at night,” I said flatly.
They all erupted in laughter. I certainly didn’t mean any disrespect, but sometimes I slip in a joke accidently. It was wonderful to see them laughing, I see too many sad faces here. I guess the idea of a white man sneaking down into the fields to steal cabbage for them at night was too much. I told the women that if there was anything they needed from me they shouldn’t hesitate to ask. I always do mean it, and as it turns out they were going to take me up on my offer.
I went to the family the next day to tell them that I had not been able locate, or steal, any cabbage. The man’s brothers were there and had forced a change of plans. The man died on Wednesday and it was now Saturday. The men, however, were adamant that he be taken back to his mountain village of Ha Lephoto. We don’t have cars here, and if we did they couldn’t reach Ha Lephoto. The only way to get to Ha Lephoto is by horse.
We brought saddled horses, and prepared for the ride of the dead, the night ride. His brothers picked him up and put him in his saddle, to ride one last time. We tied each leg to a stirrup and tied ropes around his back midsection and arms, and connected them to the ropes attached to the stirrups. It took a while to secure him tightly, and in the end he sat firmly in the saddle, but slouched over next to his horse.
One of the men from the village asked me, “Don’t you want to take a picture?”
I always carry my camera, but wouldn’t normally bring it out at a time like this. “I have it,” I said, “but I wasn’t going to take a picture. Won’t his family be angry?”
“No. Please father Thabo. Show them how we live here. Show them how we live hard in Lesotho.”

After the picture, I saddled my horse, and prepared to escort them to Ha Lephoto. You might think it an unpleasant experience, and it was, but in truth there isn’t a person who hasn’t thought about where he wants his final resting place to be. We were simply honoring the dead.

As if to complete the gloom, the clouds rolled in. Ares and Aegis came along as escort. I like to think that the man would have enjoyed the fact that the two fat dogs fed on bread and milk were part of his final escort. We rode. It got dark around 1830, yet we rode on. It rained at 2015, yet on we rode. Indescribable. There are some things that shouldn’t be talked about, and other things that can’t be talked about. The night ride was both. I have the words, but I won’t write them. It was horrific yet wonderful, heartbreaking yet uplifting. It was the night ride.
I couldn’t stay. The clouds lifted, and I left the caravan at Ha Lephoto and opted to just turn around and go home. The moon lit my way home, and I arrived home with Ares, Aegis, and Leluma just before dawn. It takes an exceptional amount of love to take your brother’s rotting body home in the night rain to be buried. When you are encircled by despair, death, utter hopelessness, and loss all things are eventually stripped away. Two things remain and stand alone, God and love.
Andrew Dernovsek (Thabo Nohana)